In 1999, I found myself on my way to the Ukraine with my husband to adopt a 3 ½ year old orphan.  Thus began my challenging journey towards my education in adoption parenting.

I thought that I knew so much before we adopted.  I felt prepared if a little nervous. I thought that my 14 years of experience of successfully working with children and parents* would get me through. I knew it would be more difficult than parenting a biological infant but I wasn’t prepared for how difficult.

 It didn’t take long for me to figure out that traditional parenting techniques were not working for our adopted child. My education had not addressed adoption parenting. I began reading books, taking classes, trying new techniques. I got together with other moms who had recently adopted so we could share experiences and ideas.

Despite all of the extensive research I did, I found the best teacher was my son. I learned that if I spoke to him in a kind, soft voice he responded without a tantrum.  Power struggles were a daily event so I was forced to use all my creativity to learn to sidestep power struggles and still win. (I get asked about how I did that a lot!) Contrary to what current professionals were saying, I knew from my son that he was not trying to manipulate me but survive.  His hyperactive, impulsive, oppositional behavior arose from stress (flight/fight/freeze) that neglected and abused kids live with daily.

In 2005 I began my private practice helping families with all aspects of Adoption Counseling. I really enjoy the process of helping other adoptive families find the hopefulness in their situation, because my own experience had been so overwhelming. I don’t want other parents to have to live one more day with stress, frustration, anger, sadness and a feeling of impotence before they find successful solutions. I also help parents who are in the process of adopting learn about adoption parenting now so they can have a successful beginning with their new family.  Families thinking about adopting can explore if they are ready for the unique challenges of adoption.

Having ‘been there’ myself I understand the complex feelings you are going through. You can have a happy adopted family – let me help you!

*I have also created and presented classes I thought would be helpful to adoptive parents. Click here to read a write-up about one of my classes.

 *After graduation in 1995 with a Masters in Marriage & Family Therapy from the College of Notre Dame de Namur in Belmont I completed my 3000 hours of internship. I worked at Single Parent Services, the Parental Stress Hotline, and the Community Health Awareness Council (CHAC), helping parents, families and children.  Years before, I studied Child Development at San Jose City College and then worked as a preschool/daycare teacher for 8 years.